Wednesday, June 15, 2005
The End Is Near...
This time tomorrow and I will be in my new (temporary) room. I am a bit nervous, partly because I have become quite comfortable in this house - even with all of the drama in the last six months. The other bit of nerves comes from the fact that I am moving in with my HOD's mother - she is also the grandmother to one of the students I teach - which makes me feel like I should be on my best behavior. I won't be there for long, that's what I keep telling myself. I am not sure how things will go for the next couple of weeks, but the good news is that I will be moving (again) in July. My new digs are closer to London and I will be sharing with someone closer to my own age. It should make for a much more interesting year (Keep your fingers crossed!).
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Crack Open the Dream Dictionary, I Need Help With This One
I love trying to interpret dreams. It's fun to see what your subconscious is trying to tell you. Anyway, I had a terrible dream this morning. One that made it difficult for me to wake myself. So, if you have any suggestions as to what it may mean, then please share...
I was going to the airport to catch a flight somewhere (I think it may have been my flight home). When I arrived to check my baggage, I was told that I had missed the flight by a couple of hours. Then, I ended up sorting a new ticket home which was quite expensive. And, again, I wound-up late to the gate and I missed this second flight. So, while I was starting to freak out about getting home, my purse was stolen. Not only was my wallet taken, but also my passport. There was also something in there about my poor job packing my suitcase - that I just threw some stuff in the case and forgot underpants and other essentials... A bit weird, eh? And I am sure that it is packed with all sorts of goodies for interpretation. Anyone want to give it a shot?
I was going to the airport to catch a flight somewhere (I think it may have been my flight home). When I arrived to check my baggage, I was told that I had missed the flight by a couple of hours. Then, I ended up sorting a new ticket home which was quite expensive. And, again, I wound-up late to the gate and I missed this second flight. So, while I was starting to freak out about getting home, my purse was stolen. Not only was my wallet taken, but also my passport. There was also something in there about my poor job packing my suitcase - that I just threw some stuff in the case and forgot underpants and other essentials... A bit weird, eh? And I am sure that it is packed with all sorts of goodies for interpretation. Anyone want to give it a shot?
What the %£$@ is wrong with people!?!
Irrational people really irritate me. Right now, I am sitting here feeling guilty when I shouldn't but an irrational comment was made and I can't get it out of my head!
You see, high school in the UK is different than a US school. They combine middle school with high school, so I teach ages 11 to 16 (years 7 to 10). There are still year 11s, 12s and 13s at my school, but I do not have them in regular lessons. The year 13s have "graduated," although it consists of completing a series of exams and waiting for results to post in August. No ceremony, no formalities. This week, the year 11s finish their exams and will be through with school, you could equate it with graduation in the US. They have completed all of the compulsorily schooling, and their results also come by post in August. The year 12s left for a few weeks, but have come back to start their year 13 courses (not entirely sure why, but that's just what they do)... My point is that many of the teachers that work with year 11 students or year 13 students have a lightened load for the rest of the year. Of course, they may be used to cover lessons when a teacher is out, but all-in-all they have it a bit easier.
I do not teach any year 11 classes (unless you count the one drama class that I have on Fridays). My timetable will not get lighter. I am okay with this because I like the younger kids, I prefer the little darlings, I went to school to teach the younger kids and it is just the way it works. It can get irritating when other teachers throw it in your face that they don’t have many lessons... But, this is just the way it works and I am okay with that. Although, it would be nice to have a bit of free time to organize myself, mark notebooks and to write student reports.
So, when it was suggested to me that I could reduce the amount of year 7 reports that I will have to write by asking the teacher that I share the class with [referred to as Teacher X from now on] to do it, I say "sure, sounds great, although I haven't thought that far in advance." (They are due a week from Friday, so I have a bit of time - and those of you that know me know that I will save them for the last-minute, anyway). This teacher that was trying to help me out also said, "[Teacher X] is in a meeting right now, I'll pop in and let her know what is going on." This [Teacher X] teaches at least one year 11 class and will have a few more free lessons, so why not let her write the reports. I am moving on Thursday and am still teaching my full load, I could use the help.
Today, [Teacher X] cornered me and demanded that I explain why I "did not discuss with her" the division of the reports. Now, I have a very hard time communicating with this woman. She talks and talks and never seems to listen, so there is very little communication that takes place. I was not trying to be rude, but she kept interrupting me when I tried to explain what had happened the day before. Then, when I was finally able to spit my words out, she would ask again, "Why did you not discuss this with me?" I was talking in circles, she was not listening, and it was quite a scene. Finally, I suggested that we talk to the head of department who was in the meeting where [Teacher X] was asked to complete the reports. I was called away to the phone while [Teacher X] complained about me to the HOD (Head of Department). When I joined the group, my HOD was calming [Teacher X] and telling her to just relax and take an evening to calm down - she was in tears. She was feeling stressed because of her QTS (qualified teaching status) portfolio, upcoming reports that are due and not finding enough time in the day (even with her newly free year 11 lessons) to do everything she needs to do. I can completely understand where she is coming from, I have cried on many occasions because of stress at work. I was starting to feel bad for her...
Then the HOD walked out of the room, and [Teacher X] turned to me and said, "See what you've done to me! You've made me cry on my birthday!" Now, look, it wasn't my idea to have you do the reports in the first place. Then, you came at me arguing and refusing to listen. Now, you want to wait until the room is empty to place blame! What the fuck is wrong with you!?
Now, two hours later, I am sitting here venting to my friends and still feeling a bit guilty about her comment. Damn me for caring what other people think!
You see, high school in the UK is different than a US school. They combine middle school with high school, so I teach ages 11 to 16 (years 7 to 10). There are still year 11s, 12s and 13s at my school, but I do not have them in regular lessons. The year 13s have "graduated," although it consists of completing a series of exams and waiting for results to post in August. No ceremony, no formalities. This week, the year 11s finish their exams and will be through with school, you could equate it with graduation in the US. They have completed all of the compulsorily schooling, and their results also come by post in August. The year 12s left for a few weeks, but have come back to start their year 13 courses (not entirely sure why, but that's just what they do)... My point is that many of the teachers that work with year 11 students or year 13 students have a lightened load for the rest of the year. Of course, they may be used to cover lessons when a teacher is out, but all-in-all they have it a bit easier.
I do not teach any year 11 classes (unless you count the one drama class that I have on Fridays). My timetable will not get lighter. I am okay with this because I like the younger kids, I prefer the little darlings, I went to school to teach the younger kids and it is just the way it works. It can get irritating when other teachers throw it in your face that they don’t have many lessons... But, this is just the way it works and I am okay with that. Although, it would be nice to have a bit of free time to organize myself, mark notebooks and to write student reports.
So, when it was suggested to me that I could reduce the amount of year 7 reports that I will have to write by asking the teacher that I share the class with [referred to as Teacher X from now on] to do it, I say "sure, sounds great, although I haven't thought that far in advance." (They are due a week from Friday, so I have a bit of time - and those of you that know me know that I will save them for the last-minute, anyway). This teacher that was trying to help me out also said, "[Teacher X] is in a meeting right now, I'll pop in and let her know what is going on." This [Teacher X] teaches at least one year 11 class and will have a few more free lessons, so why not let her write the reports. I am moving on Thursday and am still teaching my full load, I could use the help.
Today, [Teacher X] cornered me and demanded that I explain why I "did not discuss with her" the division of the reports. Now, I have a very hard time communicating with this woman. She talks and talks and never seems to listen, so there is very little communication that takes place. I was not trying to be rude, but she kept interrupting me when I tried to explain what had happened the day before. Then, when I was finally able to spit my words out, she would ask again, "Why did you not discuss this with me?" I was talking in circles, she was not listening, and it was quite a scene. Finally, I suggested that we talk to the head of department who was in the meeting where [Teacher X] was asked to complete the reports. I was called away to the phone while [Teacher X] complained about me to the HOD (Head of Department). When I joined the group, my HOD was calming [Teacher X] and telling her to just relax and take an evening to calm down - she was in tears. She was feeling stressed because of her QTS (qualified teaching status) portfolio, upcoming reports that are due and not finding enough time in the day (even with her newly free year 11 lessons) to do everything she needs to do. I can completely understand where she is coming from, I have cried on many occasions because of stress at work. I was starting to feel bad for her...
Then the HOD walked out of the room, and [Teacher X] turned to me and said, "See what you've done to me! You've made me cry on my birthday!" Now, look, it wasn't my idea to have you do the reports in the first place. Then, you came at me arguing and refusing to listen. Now, you want to wait until the room is empty to place blame! What the fuck is wrong with you!?
Now, two hours later, I am sitting here venting to my friends and still feeling a bit guilty about her comment. Damn me for caring what other people think!
Sunday, June 12, 2005
I love iTunes!!
I have spent my afternoon listening to music and downloading songs. Uh oh! I now have three new CDs and six new songs. I can justify it and say that I haven't bought much music since I have been here, but I can see where this could lead to trouble...
Here's what's cool, iTunesUK has bonus tracks on their CDs that you purchase. :) Plus they are much cheaper than buying CDs from most stores!!
I bought a few Scottish tunes to remind me of my trip, Stereophonics "You Gotta Go There to Come Back", Dashboard Confessional "A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar" and Snow Patrol "Final Straw."
I have also been listening to an Aussie, Pete Murray, since my trip to Europe. Check him out: www.petemurray.com He's pretty cool.
Here's what's cool, iTunesUK has bonus tracks on their CDs that you purchase. :) Plus they are much cheaper than buying CDs from most stores!!
I bought a few Scottish tunes to remind me of my trip, Stereophonics "You Gotta Go There to Come Back", Dashboard Confessional "A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar" and Snow Patrol "Final Straw."
I have also been listening to an Aussie, Pete Murray, since my trip to Europe. Check him out: www.petemurray.com He's pretty cool.
"In My World We Are Always In A Cloud" *
This entry started with the title, "Why am I here? And other questions I need help answering..." I drafted my thoughts yesterday morning, just feeling very frustrated with what is happening at the moment. You see, I started the paperwork to extend my work permit almost two months ago, but there have been snags and delays. I'll save my rants for another day, but someone please tell me why you have to get permission (big stack of paperwork) in order to apply for a work permit extension (another big stack of paperwork) - it makes no sense to me! Anyway, without the work permit, I am unable to complete the paperwork for the lease agreement on the flat I am trying to get for July. Also, I can not apply for a visa for next year until I have my work permit... So, I am stuck in the middle of a huge paper trail and it is starting to get to me. On top of all of this, I am moving Thursday to a temporary residence until I can move in to my new place in July (hopefully), the kids at school have been terrible this week, reports are due and the list goes on and on...
I tried to run away from all of these issues, thinking that a week in Scotland would allow me to refocus (a little less stressed about everything), but it only worked for a few days. I am living in Limbo, again. I did this last summer and survived (with the help of some wonderful friends). This will work itself out. I am not worried, just a bit frustrated and annoyed. Then I ran across a wonderful little device. The UK Post Office sells phone cards and is offering free calls to the US on Saturdays for the month of June. So, I spent the entire day on the phone. It was wonderful!
So, with the help of some terrific friends, I did a bit of soul-searching yesterday starting with the question, "why am I here?" It was an easy decision last year to come to England. I was so excited that there wasn't anything stopping me - I was determined to find a way! Over the last ten months my excitement has dulled a bit, I know what is ahead of me. I am no longer blind to the amazing things, the fun things or the challenging things. I am here another year because I want more of this life. I want a chance to do it again and to do it better (at least as school and a social life are concerned). So, once again I say (for myself as much as everyone else) This will work itself out. In the meantime, I have some packing to do. :)
This is my horoscope for today:
Sometimes all you need is one little light, and then -- pow! -- it's as if everything is illuminated. An answer to a certain problem you've been having at work may bear with it unexpected and welcome gifts -- such as the ability to give you a whole new perspective on what's been going on in your relationships and your private life as well. Now that you've had this realization, it's within your power to change things around here -- for the better.
*One of the girls I hung out with in Scotland was always coming up with absurd comments. This was one of my favorites.
I tried to run away from all of these issues, thinking that a week in Scotland would allow me to refocus (a little less stressed about everything), but it only worked for a few days. I am living in Limbo, again. I did this last summer and survived (with the help of some wonderful friends). This will work itself out. I am not worried, just a bit frustrated and annoyed. Then I ran across a wonderful little device. The UK Post Office sells phone cards and is offering free calls to the US on Saturdays for the month of June. So, I spent the entire day on the phone. It was wonderful!
So, with the help of some terrific friends, I did a bit of soul-searching yesterday starting with the question, "why am I here?" It was an easy decision last year to come to England. I was so excited that there wasn't anything stopping me - I was determined to find a way! Over the last ten months my excitement has dulled a bit, I know what is ahead of me. I am no longer blind to the amazing things, the fun things or the challenging things. I am here another year because I want more of this life. I want a chance to do it again and to do it better (at least as school and a social life are concerned). So, once again I say (for myself as much as everyone else) This will work itself out. In the meantime, I have some packing to do. :)
This is my horoscope for today:
Sometimes all you need is one little light, and then -- pow! -- it's as if everything is illuminated. An answer to a certain problem you've been having at work may bear with it unexpected and welcome gifts -- such as the ability to give you a whole new perspective on what's been going on in your relationships and your private life as well. Now that you've had this realization, it's within your power to change things around here -- for the better.
*One of the girls I hung out with in Scotland was always coming up with absurd comments. This was one of my favorites.
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