In other news...

There is a work permit extension application in the works... Yes, friends, it looks like I will be sticking around for another year. It feels a bit weird. I have been living the last year with a 'temporary' mind-set: No need for a lot of things, I may not be here long. With another year at school I am ready to settle into a life here, eighteen months is a long time! I am looking for a place to live: one that is a bit closer to London and maybe one with a bit less marital drama. I am also looking at cars... Watch out Britain - it could get scary!!

With everything that is going on, so many things that can only happen 'if', and happen 'when,' I struggled Saturday to find something that I could actually do this weekend. The car will have to come after I save more, the room will have to come after I find one that I like... So Saturday I bought a mobile phone. [I know, I know, really exciting news, but deal!] I have lived the last eight months without one, but they are nice to have in emergencies (or when the trains are delayed - which seems to happen entirely too often), or that's what I keep telling myself. Really, I just wanted some sort of purchase that would cross that 'temporary' boundary and make my life feel a bit more permanent.

The school has also [finally] set up the course I have to take for my Qualified Teacher Status. It's actually not a course, but a program set up through a local university. It sounds a lot like the Initially Licensed Teacher program in North Carolina - submit a portfolio, a few extra observations, etc. The good news is that, if all goes well, I could have qualified status by September!!

Walk of Shame?

I haven't really mentioned much about my living situation on this blog. But I am tired of keeping quiet, besides I am leaving this month and you guys don't know the people involved, anyway.

I live with a very sweet couple that are in their 60's. It started out as a temporary place to live when I first arrived in town and I ended up staying. They cook for me, they do the laundry, it's a lot like living with your parents (except my parents would expect me to do laundry). Granted, it has not allowed for much of a social life, but I've coped and just thought of it as a temporary situation. In January, Chris met me at the airport with news. He informed me that he was leaving Jenny for another woman. It seems that she works at my school and they have been sneaking around town for the last few months. After that, I started to spend more and more time in my bedroom, leaving more room in the house for Chris and Jenny to sort out their business. It was a very awkward first few months and now I guess I am just used to it all. Chris and Jenny have sold their house and we will all go in different directions at the end of the month. Jenny has spent a lot of time away, visiting her children/grandchildren. While she has been gone, the new woman has been spending more and more time here. Okay, fine, the marriage is over, but this is still a bit awkward for me. Anyway, this morning I woke up, had my cup of coffee and was surprised to find the new woman entering the kitchen to make her morning cup of Joe, too. Am I a prude? Isn't this crossing a line?!

Ah! Friday!!

I am a bit awkward with my year 13 tutor group. I don't really know why, probably because I am used to working with children, not 18 year-olds. Still, they are a fun group and I usually walk away laughing about something. I only see them Thursdays and Fridays and only for about 15 - 20 minutes each day. Today, we had chapel prayer. Have I mentioned that I work at a Catholic school? Me, little miss serious supporter of 'separation of church and state' had to lead a prayer today... I chickened out and told them to take a moment for silent prayer. Then I said, "Does anyone have anything to share? Okay, you can go. Have a good day." They left and I had a laugh. I wonder what was going through their heads...

Life, Fear and the C word

I finished reading Life of Pi yesterday. It took me quite a while to get through the first part, but after that, I finished it in the weekend. I enjoyed the book, but what stands out most in my mind is this passage Yann Martel wrote:

I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread.

I have been receiving a lot of forwarded emails lately from a particular person in North Carolina. This woman was an advisor to our sorority and a replacement mom to many of us that lived away from home. Typically, I just look at the subject lines, mumble something under my breath about hogging valuable webmail space and delete the message. In the last few weeks I have started to read the messages. This, in all honesty, has been going on for years. The advisor, a very caring and supportive woman, has been updating us all on the health of one of our own. D was diagnosed 6 years ago with IBC (inflammatory breast cancer), a very aggressive type of cancer and has been fighting it ever since. All too often the emails that get sent around are asking for donations for D and her family and, unfortunately, the sentiment gets lost in the plea for dollars. That was the attitude I took for a long time... Until I started reading the messages in the last few weeks. D is on a trial with Duke University that hasn't been tested on humans before; they are treating the cancer of her lungs and liver. She calls herself 'Patient #4' when the first 3 have been removed from the trail for various reasons. She has had terrible side effects from this treatment, but insists on continuing. She has known many people to die from IBC since she was diagnosed, 60% of the people with IBC are dead within 5 years. Her message today was that she is going to have to go into hospital soon to remove fluid that has formed around her heart. I don't know D very well, really only by reputation, but she is a strong individual. She's lobbied Washington for funds to support cancer research, she is raising a family and she is fighting cancer minute by minute. I have had D in my thoughts a lot these last couple of weeks, especially since her fight is getting more and more difficult. I am not usually one for prayers, but I have found myself saying them for D and her family.

Really, the Martel passage can apply to anything in life. I fear many things: spiders, public speaking, and all sorts of things. But what terrifies me the most, the thing that Martel describes in Life of Pi for me is an end to all that I know. I have lived a very privileged life. I have grown up in a loving, caring household with very large families on either side. I have two sets of grandparents that are healthy and get around without any major problems. Death is not new to me; I have had close friends pass away and family members as well. I do not fear my own death, but I fear the death of the ones I love. I am terrified of a life without loved ones.

What terrifies you?

Ten things that made me smile today

(in no particular order)
10. Bruises on my arm that remind me of a day at a paintball centre. That was great fun!! Wasn't really sure I'd like it, but I had a blast!!
9. Meeting really cool people in Cardiff.
8. Finding my name (or a nickname that always cracks me up) on a certain someone's "These are the Daves I know" list. :)
7. Making arrangements to meet Little A's Sam in London when he is in town.
6. Watching live music at a bar called Callaghan's in Cardiff yesterday - Ha ha!! Everything in that statement reminds me of you, K.
5. Bank Holidays are wonderful!!
4. Spending time with someone who 'gets' the importance of Go-Go-Gadget Arms. (Sorry, Brit, you are never going to live that down.)
3. Road Trips.
2. Huge Burritos that scare school officials. Little A, that was a great article!! http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/burrito_lockdown
1. Meeting and getting to chat to Andy and Josie - Hi guys!

I have not been good about keeping up with anyone in the last few months. I have a load of pictures I need to finish labeling and send (the ones from Europe). I have emails in a draft box, just waiting for a bit of time to finish and send (Toni, there's one for you in there). One day I will be able to say that everything on my TO DO list is complete... But then what happens?