"In My World We Are Always In A Cloud" *

This entry started with the title, "Why am I here? And other questions I need help answering..." I drafted my thoughts yesterday morning, just feeling very frustrated with what is happening at the moment. You see, I started the paperwork to extend my work permit almost two months ago, but there have been snags and delays. I'll save my rants for another day, but someone please tell me why you have to get permission (big stack of paperwork) in order to apply for a work permit extension (another big stack of paperwork) - it makes no sense to me! Anyway, without the work permit, I am unable to complete the paperwork for the lease agreement on the flat I am trying to get for July. Also, I can not apply for a visa for next year until I have my work permit... So, I am stuck in the middle of a huge paper trail and it is starting to get to me. On top of all of this, I am moving Thursday to a temporary residence until I can move in to my new place in July (hopefully), the kids at school have been terrible this week, reports are due and the list goes on and on...

I tried to run away from all of these issues, thinking that a week in Scotland would allow me to refocus (a little less stressed about everything), but it only worked for a few days. I am living in Limbo, again. I did this last summer and survived (with the help of some wonderful friends). This will work itself out. I am not worried, just a bit frustrated and annoyed. Then I ran across a wonderful little device. The UK Post Office sells phone cards and is offering free calls to the US on Saturdays for the month of June. So, I spent the entire day on the phone. It was wonderful!

So, with the help of some terrific friends, I did a bit of soul-searching yesterday starting with the question, "why am I here?" It was an easy decision last year to come to England. I was so excited that there wasn't anything stopping me - I was determined to find a way! Over the last ten months my excitement has dulled a bit, I know what is ahead of me. I am no longer blind to the amazing things, the fun things or the challenging things. I am here another year because I want more of this life. I want a chance to do it again and to do it better (at least as school and a social life are concerned). So, once again I say (for myself as much as everyone else) This will work itself out. In the meantime, I have some packing to do. :)

This is my horoscope for today:
Sometimes all you need is one little light, and then -- pow! -- it's as if everything is illuminated. An answer to a certain problem you've been having at work may bear with it unexpected and welcome gifts -- such as the ability to give you a whole new perspective on what's been going on in your relationships and your private life as well. Now that you've had this realization, it's within your power to change things around here -- for the better.

*One of the girls I hung out with in Scotland was always coming up with absurd comments. This was one of my favorites.