ITunes is dangerous to my credit card.

I've spent my morning looking for new music. It is just too easy to point and click and a few seconds later, play. My library on ITunes is not very big, just 110 songs. I have downloaded a few songs that remind me of the places I have been, for example "Donald Where's Your Troosers?" (Andy Stewart) and "Caledonia" (Frankie Miller) were played repeatedly on the bus ride around Scotland. When I was traveling around Europe, "It's My Life" (cover of the No Doubt song) was blasting every morning as we drove through Rome, Venice, Paris, Munich. I can't help thinking of these things every time I hear the songs now. U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday" has new meaning for me now, too.

I also have albums on ITunes, too: Snow Patrol's "Final Straw," Stereophonics' "You Gotta Go There To Come Back," James Blunt's "Back to Bedlam," Athlete's "Tourist," KT Tunstall's "Eye To the Telescope." Every album I have downloaded, I have loved!!

Today's downloads include: Albums: The Killers "Hot Fuss," Artic Monkeys "I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor - EP." Songs: "I Predict A Riot" Kaiser Chiefs, "Seven Nation Army" The White Stripes and "Aerials" System of A Down.

A Ray of Light

Last week was absolute crap. The kids were crazy, I had the worst observation in my history of teaching and I was under the weather (sore throat, terrible cough and a voice that disappeared sometime last Monday). I left school in tears three of the five days last week. While I can say that I get emotional when I am not feeling my best, it was possibly my worst week of teaching since I have been in England (and maybe EVER)!

It has been a tough first term and I am feeling bitter about a lot of things that are going on at school: administration, discipline, this certification programme, etc. And when a higher-up evaluates a lesson and can not give a single positive comment about it, well, it leaves me feeling that there's just no point. Funny, it was the same week that I had planned to announce my resignation (totally unrelated but it felt good to say it when all that crap was happening). I have decided that High School is not for me. And while I have learned SO much in my overseas experience, I am a Middle School teacher through and through and am excited to return to what I know and love... Next year, of course, I'm not ready to leave England just yet.

Today was the first day since Half Term that I made the early train for work. This was my Ray of Light. If I miss the early train, then I can still make it to work but I am scrambling in at the bell (after sitting in terrible traffic and paying a taxi £5 to get me to school from the train station)... That's IF the trains are running on time. If I make the early train then I have time to enjoy a cup of coffee and do any last-minute teacher things before the day starts. That 40 minutes makes a world of difference.

A couple of things I have been meaning to post since the first of November:

My Sister's Keeper was one of the best books I have read in a long time. I really liked the issues it raised. There were parts that dragged (the mother got on my nerves) and the ending was crap, but I would still highly recommend it.

There are a ton of movies in the theater that I'd like to see, including the new Harry Potter that opens November 18th. It looks like I will be spending my Fall at the 'cinema.'

The sun set today at 4:18.

One last thing: As 'down' as I feel about my school right now, there are still plenty of good things that happen there. I have some really great support from my mentor teacher and my head of department. My department is full of fabulous people (even if I don't feel the rest of the school is...) There are plenty of kids that are wonderful, and even the not-so-wonderful ones have their wonderful moments.

I'm having a tough time putting this one down...

"... I was born for a very specific purpose. I wasn't the result of a cheap bottle of wine or a full moon or the heat of the moment. I was born because a scientist managed to hook up my mother's eggs and my father's sperm to create a specific combination of precious genetic material. In fact, when Jesse told me how babies get made and I, the great disbeliever, decided to ask my parents the truth, I got more than I bargained for. They sat me down and told me all the usual stuff, of course - but they also explained that they chose little embryonic me, specifically, because I could save my sister, Kate. 'We loved you even more,' my mother made sure to say, 'because we knew what exactly we were getting.' ... See unlike the rest of the free world, I didn't get here by accident. And if your parents have you for a reason, then that reason better exist. Because once it's gone, so are you."

The book is My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult and it is a story about a girl named Anna that has undergone surgeries all of her life to help her sister, Kate, fight leukemia. Now Kate's kidneys are failing and it is assumed that Anna will donate, so she sues her parents for the right to her own body.

I am only a hundred pages in to it, but it's a great read so far!

Ireland

I have posted a few pictures below from Ireland. The past week has been amazing. Ireland is a spectacular island full of beautiful scenery, wonderful people and a difficult history. I had no real understanding of it all until I saw it for myself. For our first two days we were in Northern Ireland, staying in both Belfast and Derry. We had guided tours of both cities, and tried to gain an understanding of the conflict felt in both areas. For the rest of the six days we toured the Republic of Ireland, staying in Galway, Annascaul and Killarney. The Republic has some pretty fabulous landscapes. The tour consisted mainly of Aussies and Kiwis, I was the only American on the bus. Most nights, we found 'the crack' including two pubs with kick-ass live music. One in Galway (cover band, but they put on a great show) and the second in Killarney (a rockin' Irish band that gave covers their own Irish twist and jammed-out on stage - they were great!). I drank Guiness like it was going out of season as well as enjoying a few Harps, Smithwicks (be careful how you pronounce it, they will correct you if you use the 'h'!), Belfast Ales, Car Bombs and many vodka/cranberry combinations. I am already trying to figure out when I can go back to Ireland, there's so much more I want to see and explore.

Blarney Castle Yes I hung upside-down and kissed the stone.

County Kerry and the Atlantic Ocean 

The Cliffs of Moher 

Derry

The Giant's Causeway 

Belfast - 'Peace' Wall with burn marks (green wall in background), Catholic Memorial (foreground - we were on the Catholic side of the wall) and the back of someone's house (notice the black protective fencing over their back garden). Can you imagine living here?

Vestibular Neuritis

Or that's what the doctor called it on Monday. It is dizziness due to a viral infection of the vestibular nerve (in my ear). I have spent my week in bed and only started to feel better Friday afternoon. Unfortunately, it was the week before half-term and I left my co-workers battling teenagers desperate for a holiday. I am feeling horribly guilty about it all, but what can you do? I was just following doctor's orders...

Is it time for a holiday, yet?

I can't complain too much. This term has been much better than my entire last year, but I am still worn out. Work is keeping my stress level high and I am constantly feeling inadequate. The kids are not as bad this year (they have their moments, but I think the fact that I am not 'green' anymore helps). And I guess with all of the pros of my own classroom, less movement and better kids I can finally start focusing on my teaching. I haven't had to do that much since everything else was an excuse. And I guess I have let myself slip. Oh well, it'll work itself out.

Next Sunday I leave for Ireland. I am psyched!! We'll see: Slane Castle (U2 and Rock concerts), The Giants Causeway, Bloody Sunday Murals, The Cliffs of Moher, Ring of Kerry and get to kiss the Blarney stone. It's a six day tour of the whole island, so I am sure it will be packed full of beautiful scenery and lots of rainy 'wee' walks. Plenty of pictures to come (and other surprisess), I am sure.

Not much exciting news around here. Winter is starting to creep in. Despite the semi-warm afternoons, I can feel the rainy weather and colder temperatures just around the corner. I can handle the poor weather, it's the darkness that I don't really care for. It is starting to get dark here around 6:00. And all I can think is that in a couple of months, it'll be dark when I leave school at 4!! It's all part of the experience... I guess.

On a lighter note, my year 9s cracked me up on Thursday. We were going through Photosynthesis and the parts of a plant, specifically the parts that you eat. They were told to complete a table and we were going over the answers. We said that you eat the root/bulb of a carrot and the stem/leaves of broccoli. One boy raised his hand and said that we "eat the fruit and seeds of a banana." So when I replied, "yes. good, we eat the fruit and seeds of a banana." The kids had a hay-day with the way I pronounce banana. No big deal, I am used to it. So when a boy who sits close to me asked me to "say it again, Miss." I said "Banana... like Gwen Stephani." Boy was that a mistake!!! For the rest of the lesson I had to listen to "Miss is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S." That'll teach me! Although, for as annoyed as I was, it also made me chuckle.

Just finished reading.

Never Enough Time In the Day...

That's how I feel when ever I work on school stuff. I have spent the majority of my day planning, marking and researching, but still I feel like I have little to show... This is so frustrating! Just not feeling on top of my game with school. I thought it would get easier, but I am still struggling... I hate feeling like a crap teacher.

Heading out for a couple of beers with my Finnish flatmate and her 22 year-old son... I'll explain all in a proper post tomorrow. Until then, happy weekend!

Who Are You?

Double lesson with a mouthy group of year 10s... They are not a BAD group of kids, they just don't want to shut their mouths for anything. So, after about an hour of trying to fight it, I gave in and joined the conversation. They were all working, not as hard or as focused as I would have liked, but it was work nonetheless.

It all started with a boy in the back singing, "Who are you? Oooo Ooo Ooo Ooo." They the question came, "Miss, do you know who The Who are?" Do I know The Who? Come On. I was raised on classic rock. My family's dial was permanently tunned to Knoxville's classic rock station and for many years it was the only radio station I knew. When we were young, my sister and I used to spend our afternoons in front of the stereo listening to Tommy and reading the lyrics from the back of the LP. I love The Who.

Of course, to a room full of 15 year-olds, that was the wrong thing to say. I am supposed to like Kayne West and the Pussycat Dolls. So, the conversation turned to, "What music do you listen to, Miss? What CDs do you own?" I went through my usual answers, the ones that received raised eyebrows and approving nods from my students last year. "I listen to all sorts of music: on my mp3 player right now I have Green Day, Foo Fighters, Stereophonics, Snowpatrol, Athlete and a bunch of US bands that you wouldn't know." To this group, it was like I said I liked Engelbert Humperdinck. Not that I really need approval from a bunch of 15 year-olds, but still, it's nice when they think you're kinda cool.

Then they started to ask about the US bands and somehow the conversation turned to seeing bands live... I don't think that southeastern music culture really translates well here. The towns are so small and London is the only place that seems to really draw shows. They asked, "Your parents let you out to see these bands?" Well, first I had to correct them and say that it was last year (or my last few years in Charlotte). And, although high school was so long ago, yes my parents did let me see shows. Of course we were heading to downtown Knoxville, not NYC or London, but still. I feel sorry that these kids are not able to experience the things that I so easily took for granted at 16. Then I remember that they are talking about Kayne West. Big shows occassionally made it to Knoxville but we were more interested in the local/regional bands. So, I can't feel too bad for kids that wouldn't really like the music anyway.

Cancelled Trains and No Buses

Sunday turned out to be quite an adventure. The flatmate and I got to the train station only to find out that they were doing service on the line, so we'd have to catch the replacement bus service to London. My second time on a double-decker bus in twenty-four hours. This ride was a bit better, probably because I was not full of alcohol. By the time we made it to London, though, we missed the walking tour, so we decided to check out the Arts Festival in Trafalgar Square then made our way to Camden Market. Tiina had never been. It truly is the best place for people watching. That, and you can basically find any type of ethnic food you could possibly want. Eventually, we started to feel a bit tired and decided to make our way home. Instead of taking the replacement bus service, we decided to take the train to Bexleyheath and then take the bus from there (30 minute train ride & 15 minute bus ride instead of 75 minute bus ride). Unfortunately, we had missed the last bus from Bexleyheath, so we decided to walk home. "I've done it before. It only takes about 15 or 20 minutes. Real easy," Tiina told me. I am afraid that her perception of time is a bit off. We walked for over an hour. I am glad I got the exercise, but it turned out to be a very long day. Good, but long.

Sunshine and 59 degrees F

My third week of school and I am already causing trouble. I guess you could consider this a good thing. At least I feel comfortable enough to voice my opinion. And my Head of Department is backing me, so it must not be too bad, right? In all actuality, it's really not bad. I just didn't like how a situation was handled and said that I thought someone was undermining my authority with a certain group of students. I said it to her, then I said it to my HOD and now the Head Master wants to bring it up in a meeting and use the situation as an example... Not the kind of attention I really want, but hey if it will keep the situation from happening again with other teachers then I am fine with it all. Although, I may try and talk to her ahead of time so that at least she's not in the dark about the subject at the meeting (thanks for the advice, K).

The flatmate and I went out last night in London. The pub was packed, the band was fun and we both had a good time. Kudos to an Irish band that can play "Devil Went Down to Georgia." :) The last train from Charing Cross left at 12:02 and we arrived just in time to see it taking off, so we caught the night bus home. Funny things, those night buses. First let me say that it is nice to be close enough to London that I can take a bus home for a mere £1.20. However, I live at the very end of the line, so sitting on a double-decker bus for an hour (and a half) as it speeds and stops every few feet does wonders for a stomach full of beer. Also, the bus was full of loud, intoxicated people eating all sorts of greasy-smelling food. An hour and a half later and we still had a 30 minute walk ahead of us. Long story short, although I am happy to have the night bus option, I don't think I want to make it my sole mode of transport on Saturday evenings. In the future, I think I will try a bit harder to catch the 12:02 train. It leaves me with a 30 minute ride and a 5 minute walk.

Today, the flatmate and I are heading back into London to take a walking tour of 'Little Venice.' Tiina found a brochure for The Original London Walks Company so we thought we'd check it out. There are plenty to choose from, but this one sounds nice.

Can You Say "Adventure?"

Nothing is set in stone, but Laura, I really wish you were here - this one's right up your alley...

Oktoberfest started Saturday in Munich and the tents will remain full until Monday October 3rd. A flight to Munich is too expensive, as is a train from London, but I am trying to find reasonable-priced transport for Tiina and myself.

Here's what I have so far: If we leave London on a 7am flight to Frankfurt and catch a train from Frankfurt to Munich, then we will have a good nine hours of stein-drinking fun before we will need to make our way back to Frankfurt for the 6am flight home.

A bit wacky, I know, but hear me out... 1) No real need to pack for the trip. A toothbrush and we're ready to go. 2) The plane fare is close to £50 - so the overall trip can be classified in the 'affordable' range. No news yet on the train ticket (website is down at the moment) but even if it is a bit pricey, the plane fare could balance it out. 3) We will be home in time to catch some good Sunday winks before work on Monday. 4) It'll be one heck of an adventure!!

Not really sure if it will all come together. I will keep you posted.

No more secrets - I'm coming clean

I just came from "Pride and Prejudice." It was an excellent film. I left the theatre and was tempted to jump back in line to buy another ticket and watch it again. I am such a sucker for romance! So, as I was walking through the town square, thinking about Mr. Darcy and smoking my fag [Yes, I smoke cigarettes on occasion] I hear, "alright, Miss" and look up to find one of my students walking towards me with a very smug look on his face.

I thought I moved to get away from students. I thought I was safe to have a cigarette when I walked from here to there without being seen by youngsters. The thing is, I am not really a smoker. I go through a 10-pack in three weeks, usually when I am out on my own and walking (and sometimes when I have a drink). Back home, I have my smoking friends - the ones I always knew I could light-up with - and my non-smoking friends that I tried not to smoke around at all. But the times that I enjoyed it the most were the times that I was alone, usually in my car. So, I am coming clean with my dirty little secret.

I can handle it with my friends - think what you'd like - but not at school. I walked to the bus stop saying, "fuck fuck fuck." This is not a conversation I want to have with a bunch of asshole 15 year-olds on Monday. Oh well. I've made my bed...